


The Incredibly True Story No One Would Ever Believe

by zera_ren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Armitage Hux is a Jerk, BDSM, Broken Families, F/F, F/M, Family, First Order Poe Dameron, Grooming, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, Possessive Armitage Hux, Protective Kylo Ren, Rough Sex, The First Order Wins (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zera_ren/pseuds/zera_ren
Summary: A young Padawan strays off towards the dark side with no one to save her. This is the story of her fall and the aftermath.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Kudos: 2





	1. First Contact - Awakenings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story. Sorry. More is on the way! The characters are placeholders for real names. No copyright intended, only the story told here is mine. 
> 
> Taking a note from another author. 
> 
> These events happened, but some supplementary material/relationships had to be added for flow.
> 
> Be warned: the chapters might be switched around a bit as I feel like it, so new chapters might be pushed to the middle or end or whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats, new chapters and new characters are coming. This announcement is as of Mon. May 25, 2020.

Friday night couldn't have come sooner. The night was cool and the air was electric in anticipation of the night to come. You showed up at the party in tan tights and a dress that screamed I-don't-get-invited-places. Mira gave one glance at you and took you up her creaky stairs to her bedroom. You helped her pick out a nice outfit and in return, she offered you a more age-appropriate dress to wear. It hugged you tight but emphasized your curves. Finally, you looked at least half presentable. The flashy colors weren't truly you, but you barely knew anyone there. Slipping out of her bedroom, you took a glance in the bathroom mirror. _Damn, I look good,_ you thought. After all, you deserve this. You were young and sort of pretty. Mira led you back to the bumbling party and left you to mingle. 

Instantly, you recognized a few of your fellow learners and joined them, following them shyly like a lost puppy. If only you could match your personality to the piece of cloth grasping at your body. Oh, Rey! She had come after all and she looked amazing in her stylishly underdressed outfit. She smiled and greeted you warmly as the two of you went off to create trouble with some older Resistance officers. There were so many lieutenants you couldn't recognize or communicate with, so the safe option seemed to be staying with the few who trained often with you. Rey led you to them.

Rey sat by the fire, watching Han laugh along with the others. He was a sly dog with a reputation that far exceeded him in the underbelly of the galaxy. Han, the man who was once again in his on-again-off-again relationship with Leia was somehow the most do-able man in the galaxy. Unbeknownst to him, the girls he slept with amongst themselves talked often about him, uniting themselves against him. You sat next to him and Leia, the firelight flashing across the faces around it. That smoky smell, the cracking of the pops and whistles. Han gives a hearty laugh at the joke, smiling at you. _Is he...still smiling at me? And holding eye contact? Damn, Leia's looking. Look at the fire. Stop smiling at it!_ If Leia found out it would be so bad for both of you, and everyone finally started to invite you to spend time with them. It was starting to look like you'd make something of yourself at the academy. If she found out about your illicit affair, she easily could cut you out of her life and leave you just as lonely as she found you. She wouldn't do that, right? Only if she found out. And she won't. _Buzz. Message from H. Solo: Are you free tonight? Do Rey and you want to come to my workspace and make out?_ Well, you've lasted this long in your secret life of shame. If he wanted to continue to pretend this was okay despite your dynamic with him and Leia, what's one more night? After flashing the message to Rey, the response was sent and your heart fluttered with anticipation. A make-out session with one of the most famed fighters across the realms? Who, need you remember, was gorgeously hot? You couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. No, no. Stop thinking about it. Focus...the fire is beautiful. It burns relentlessly and fiercely, crushing everything in its path. Focus.

"I'll pick you both up after I drop Leia at her place" Han whispered in your ear. He should have known better than to whisper such sensitive material in your ear in such an open place! You nodded, slightly, your heart sinking a little. Oh Leia, if only you knew. He smiled and winked as he walked away. Cue heart flutter. He showed up smiling in the landing area on the outskirts of your sector. "Are you girls excited? Let's go to my mechanic's boarding station." "I thought we were going to your workspace," Rey asked. Han laughed. "Of course we are! I work there sometimes in between runs. Rey was certainly excited as she raced you to the Millennium Falcon. Damn your small gait! She beat you the cockpit and slid herself into the co-pilot chair. She grinned and looked back at you, eyes full of curiosity and exhilaration. The Falcon was sleek and beautiful. He flew into the inky black of space. At top speeds, he rivaled even Poe for the title of the fastest pilot in the galaxy.

Rey was the youngest and only girl you could spend time with and not notice the age difference. Sure, she wasn't more than a scavenger at her age of 13 or 14, but she'd seen enough to be considered much older. Her most self-destructive tendencies were that consisting of hanging around those deemed "lowlives" and those much older than her. Even still, she was a good kid. Rey was smart and witty, and her bravery was second to none. She was making a name for herself across the upper levels of the Jedi Order, as you were. You began your training at the same time. Sure, Han wasn't a Jedi but he was close with many of them and if he could connect you with any of them, it could be instrumental in your careers. After all, you both wanted to move on to a higher Padawan level under the wing of a strong Master who liked you. You've heard the stories of the Masters who made the lives of their younger apprentices hell. That couldn't be you, or Rey. And, Han wasn't bad looking himself. Being in close proximity to Han wouldn't be a downside, as long as Leia was kept out of the loop and you could find a way to manage to keep your sex life and personal life with them separate. Han was doing a pretty good job of it. Surely you could too.

"Come on, my workspace is just inside." Rey led the way to the white building. Han unlocked the door and held it open for both of you. "Hey uh, are you sure that we keep going straight down this hall? We seem to be moving away from the light source and deeper into the black," you questioned. Han laughed, his voice filling the starkly empty air. "Of course! Don't worry, I'll turn on the light when we get down further." Anxiety built around you as you walked willingly into the quite literal unknown. 

As the light filled the room you felt the nerves melt off you like the water in the shower. Han moved you both to the couch, practically pulling Rey and you into his lap. Whether it was a question or it just happened, his lips were on Rey's kissing her deeply. He turned to you and kissed you, gently sucking on your bottom lip as his hand caressed your body. His right was free to pull Rey's head closer to his lips as well, attempting to touch all three sets of lips. He remedied this by sliding back and tugging you both onto his lap. His hands slid into your underwear and firmly gripped your asses, Rey and you melting into his dreamy green eyes. He continued kissing you as his hands wandered your shy bodies, his touch the first in these previously unexplored territories. The two virgins attempted to crawl and touch him back in their own inexperienced way. Rey's lips were suddenly on yours and his simultaneously, hands on his shoulder and thigh. You both awkwardly kissed and ran your hands over his body and his hips rocked into it. His hands were securely hooked around your waists, holding you both close to him. Han stopped it after a while, asking if you both if either of you wanted him to do anything for you. Rey nervously locked eyes with you. After a while, Han broke the silence.

"Do you guys want to suck my cock?" He smiled and met both of your eyes, wordlessly reminding you you were safe. "Sure", you slowly said, "But I'm not really sure how. I've never done that before. How are we supposed to do it?" He turned to you and laughed. "I don't know." Han switched looking at you to turn to Rey. He smirked as he summed up just how innocent the two padawans he had in his possession were. "I've never done it to myself. Just try putting it in your mouth and see what happens. If I don't like how it feels I'll tell you." Rey stared at you and him, looking for someone to speak first. She was as embarrassed and nervous as much a virgin as you were. She opened her mouth as she locked eyes with you. "Well, why don't you lead the way?" Damn. How were you supposed to please Han if you had never so much as touched a penis, let alone give him a blowjob? "Okay, yeah." 

He freed his cock and your eyes widened. You licked the side of his shaft and the tip, scared of putting your mouth on it. "Can you try putting it in your mouth?" You did as he asked, and Rey slid down to lick it with you. You both put your hands on it and began to suck it, and he moaned. His eyes closed and he moaned again as he laid his head back. Han's hands ran across your backs and necks gently. Scared, you stopped and looked at him. Sensing your hesitation, he brought his hand up to your head and pushed it down. You started licking it again, but he held your head there, intent on you being committed to his orgasm. He came in your faces and Rey walked with him to clean up. When he returned, he sat with you both on the couch. "So, do you guys want me to do something for you?"

Rey locked eyes with you, giving you the go-ahead. He made you ask for it instead of simply suggesting it. He got off on the complete control he had over you. "C-could you please, um, m-maybe...finger me? I mean like only if you want to-" He smirked again and laughed. He gazed at you, his eyes full of mischief. "Yes! Here, why don't you move a little closer to me? Hey Rey, you can watch. You don't have to move away." Fear filled your eyes. He was going to touch you as Rey looked on? Rey gave off a nervous chuckle of sorts. "Uhhh, no I'm okay. You guys go for it. I'm just gonna check m " He moved his hand under your dress, slipping it into your underwear. Heat flew to your cheeks as you blushed and turned your head away. Your tights and underwear ended up rolled at your knees as he invoked a sensation you had never felt before. You panted your way to completion and sat dizzily in the cushion as your head slowly came back. 


	2. Little R and Big R

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to randomly post with no rhyme or reason in regards to time. When's the next post? Two minutes, a year? Who's to say. This chapter is more of an interlude than a main part so it's short but more might be added later.

The news that one of the young Padawans was ready to take on a new adventure spread through the secret realms of the Jedi like wildfire. The dark side of the galaxy heard the whisperings too, that a certain young girl was looking to advance in her Force Training. Her smile was strong and her confidence had just started to blossom. Her powers were growing, and she needed a Master to follow in their footsteps and lead her down a path. Unfortunately for her, she had grown a secret interest in a certain Kylo Ren, supreme leader of The First Order. The dark side offered a fun taste of freedom she wasn't normally allowed. Her Jedi teachers had warned her of the allure of the Dark Side of the Force and how it may exploit her for her abilities. The Dark Side signified the idea of intensifying your emotions and personal gain which was something she was unfortunately interested in. 

She, of course, was you. Through your education, you've felt stronger and smarter than everyone else. Top in the academy, top in your class, and the first to throw a punch if you felt threatened. It wasn't necessarily always your fault. Those idiots you trained with always thought they were better than you. They walked around in new robes and drove faster speeders and they were always the first to be chosen for games and training sessions. But you were more than them and the Masters knew it. If only they'd give you a chance...

You had gotten paired with Kylo Ren by chance. He was your leader, working in secret as part of the Dark Side. Surprisingly, no one had yet recognized him. A "transfer from another training facility" and some of the greatest brains around and not a single one of them questioned it. You cornered him after a training session and he confirmed your suspicions. After what felt like forever, it was really him. He was back, for now. Despite knowing of Ren's involvement in the Dark Side, you decided to ignore it because he offered to train you. He was kind and really seemed to care for you. Kylo talked to you often, from how your day was to how you felt in the academy. "You have to make smarter decisions. I'm not always going to be there for you," he said one evening after a particularly rough night for you. Ren walked you back to your living quarters after training and had cared for you, but you were unusually rebellious, hence the restriction on your movement. He was the Big R and you were his Little R. Ren was sure to be careful, never doing anything inappropriate with you since you were barely 15 and you were both had a prior history. Kylo was like a kind, supportive presence in your life. He never judged you and encouraged you to keep an open mind. He was such an amazing person in your life that you overlooked the realization of his path. He helped lead you down the Dark Side as much as he let you believe you were in the Light.

"If you want some guidance, I can be there for you." Rarely had anyone seemed to care for you, and his offer seemed enticing. He wasn't too involved in your life anymore, and the thought of him guiding you like in the old days soothed you. He wasn't much older than you, and his smile made you relax. Something about Kylo just seemed right. Maybe things wouldn't return to normal, but some part of you enjoyed the fantasy of having watchful Kylo back by your side. Training with Kylo seemed to give you that chance to return to an old normal and envigorated a new strength of focus in you. It was more like a friendship, too. Your past involving him had been muddy though, and you hadn't seen him much since the split. Nonetheless, you jumped at the chance to work with him again.

Your reputation exceeded you among the stars, and one of them that was burning the brightest went by the name of General Armitage Hux. Self-made and empowered, his name and success were always latched onto him. As was his clingy and jealous girlfriend, Savannah. But Hux worked too hard to not enjoy the fruits of his labors, and he set his sights on you.


	3. The Beginning of the End of Her Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux's most meaningful contact with you ends worse than you imagined.
> 
> Was he falling for you? No. But he sure made you feel like it.

"I really like spending time with you. Just let's not tell Savannah." That turned into many late night rendezvous, with you sneaking out of the dorms of the academy late at night to meet him. He always took you under the cover of night into his craft fit for two and for little late night training sessions, for a small fee of course. Your age didn't matter to him. In fact, he took you on because you were so young and willing to do what he said. A little fee, of course, paid in sex.

The thing about Hux was that he always made it seem like your choice. You wanted to come out. You wanted to stay up late. You _wanted_ him. Seemingly, as much as he wanted you. Was he falling for you? No. But he sure made you feel like it. 

It began with fun and ended in tears. 

. . .

He was sexy of some sort. You'd been his "friend" for some time or maybe he was yours. You were certainly his and he liked to prove that to you whenever he could. You met and connected him with Savannah for some sick revenge on a friend, some dark way to hurt someone who hurt you. The first time you really connected with him was after a training exercise. The older padawans were taken to an obstacle course of some sort where they would showcase their talents to the new recruits and Masters. If you did especially well or had some special sort of spark, you might be chosen by a Master to be taken as an apprentice to them. The First Order was in presence as well, in undercover operations. They pretended to be looking for body guards for special persons, to take older padawans in an effort to turn them to the Dark Side of the Force. They often sought after the strongest ones, or those who could follow orders without questioning. 

You performed at the top of your class in every course. You stood undefeated in saber fights despite your size, you ran through courses with the most ingenuity, your strength was above average for your gender and you could outwit anyone in a firefight. The only thing bringing you down your your wicked tongue as noted in your file. Even in hand to hand combat, you may have been beaten to a pulp but you never stopped until you were victorious. The last test was supposed to be the easiest: the 3 mile race through the woods. You were doing fine until a few turns in. Despite your natural sense for direction you had lost your way. You kept going in an attempt to assure yourself you were fine. Suddenly, you came to a tree blocking the path. This wasn't there in the walkthrough. You raced back in fear to find your way back. Hopelessly you ran around like a child lost in a marketplace. You heart felt like it was going to emerge from your chest, and a panic attack crashed across you in waves. You came out of the woods, in last place. Disappointment was on every face of your Masters as you finished. You curled in a ball and cried silently for what you lost. They sighed and walked away as your fellow padawans gawked at you. In this easy task you were a failure and everyone knew it. Your classmates turned away from you as tears streamed down your face. Shame didn't begin to cover it.

Suddenly, someone crouched next to you and put a hand on your back. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay. Just take a deep breath. Shh. Here's some water for you, and some food. Are you okay? Here, let's get you up and go someplace a little more private." General Armitage Hux was suddenly by your side. The famed man of the up and coming First Order who was a genius and was making a strong name for himself. Hux guided you to a small quiet place apart from the others. You calmed down with him, and he kept an arm on you almost constantly because Savannah was lightyears away.

On the ride back to the dormitories he kept you company in the transporter. Covered by the darkness of it, Hux gazed into your eyes, his as soft and gentle as a deer's. He placed his hand on your thigh. "I heard about you and Han. Yes, whispers get even to me. Tell me, did you like it?" His eyes were full of mischief. "Y-yeah. It was my first time doing anything like that," you replied. He smiled slowly, sucking in this information. "Did you have sex with him?" Hux searched your eyes for any indication of your response. "No, Rey and I just blew him. I liked it." He smiled deviously upon gaining the information that you were still a virgin. Still pure and ripe for the taking. “Would you like to give me a blowjob? It could be our little secret.” “We're on a transporter. We could get caught,” you hissed as the heat rose between your thighs. "Oh, I know. Why not just a hand job then? If you want." You smiled at this new proposition. Secret, indulgent, and special. He must see something in you to ask you to do this. You smiled and nodded. He opened his jacket and unbuckled his belt. Hux unzipped his trousers and slipped his cock out. You reached you hand over and stroked it as he closed his eyes and smiled slightly. Right before the ship landed, Hux leaned over and whispered "Do you want to have sex with me? I promise to be gentle." You smiled and blushed, which he no doubt enjoyed. "Alright, then meet me by the meadow near the old racing tracks. Bring a condom." 


	4. Poe Dameron Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little background your friend Poe sets the stage.

Poe Dameron was a psychopath, and he hid it well. Under his charm and suave looks, no one could tell. His smile and kind eyes that made you melt with comfort masked his true self well. He'd learned to hide it over time. It started becoming a problem in his schoolyard days, and his parents were concerned about how he failed to react to things like a classmate being hurt. After a few visits to a doctor, he started to change but only to meld into the rest of society. Spice running gave him a cover for when things happened he couldn't control. It was a dangerous game, but no one batted an eye if you didn't cry over death. It was just another day where you were glad you didn't get killed. It's not that he was incapable of emotions, he just struggled with them, but the Resistance helped him for a little while. 

But months passed and he still woke with the same feelings of perpetual apathy. In the Resistance, you had to fight to save the things you loved and that's pretty hard for someone to do when nothing affects you. Still, he enjoyed the thrill of death and having virtual free reign to do as he pleased. Then it happened. He witnessed an innocent man being beaten by First Order Loyalists, and his time with the Resistance told him to do something. "Hey, stop!" He ran the group and drew his blaster. The man in the red knocked Poe's blaster to the ground but Poe grabbed him and threw him into his friends. They raised their scepters and yelled but Poe's fists were too fast for them. He swiped the tallest one out first with a strong punch that cut his knuckles open. Poe was plowed down by the second man, having the wind knocked out of him as he smashed into the concrete. He sucked for wind hard but the next thing he saw was heavy black boots raining down on his chest and side. 

Poe managed to raise a hand long enough to twist the ankle of one of his attackers and the man screamed in pain as he was shoved off balance. "You'll pay for that, Rebel Scum!" He was raised to a sitting position by the hand on his throat as the other battered his face. Suddenly, he was released and fell back into the lap of a familiar Clawdite. "Stay here, don't move," she whispered as she ran off to chase down the others. Poe was again lifted but this time to his feet and two men came under his arms and dragged him to their ship. "Shh, it's okay Poe, close your eyes" Annette whispered as Poe's vision faded into blackness. 

. . . 

Poe shot up in the darkness and hissed in pain. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was getting his ass kicked on Coruscant. He sighed and brought a hand to his chest. It was wrapped in bandages and his head pounded. Around him, he started to make out outlines of a chair and a thin strip of light on the floor. What could that be? His question was momentarily answered as light flooded the room and bathed everything in a blinding white. "Oh please, the light! Please shut it off!" he cried. "Hello Poe, nice seeing you again. What is it, the 7th time this month? My we must be getting bored, huh?" The doctor shot him a look to match her sarcastic tone. "Look, Annette, it's not what you think," he huffed. "I was trying to save a man from being murdered by a group of low life Loyalists." He ran his hand through his hair. "I guess I wasn't thinking it through. Please tell me you didn't tell her." Annette stopped typing in the datapad for a moment and looked at him. "You seem to misunderstand our relationship. I report to my boss who reports his boss who reports to the General. It's not my fault you go off and do stupid things. But no, I didn't tell her." She looks back down to her typing. "Finn did." "What a bleeding heart! Oh, Gods, I'll never hear the end of it now." She walked out and someone else replaced her presence. 

The General walked into the room with an air of importance. Despite the size of the base, she knew everyone's name and carried herself in a strong and dignified manner but held the approachability of a commoner. She kept her emotions tight to her chest except now, and her face wore a worried look. "Poe Joseph Dameron! What were you thinking, entering a fight like that? You had me worried sick. You were supposed to be back hours ago!" Leia scolded him and walked to cup Poe's face in her hands. "Please stop doing this. Please stop running off and endangering yourself like this. I can't bear to lose you too." Her eyes watered with tears. Despite being one of her only "children" to stay, Poe seemed to make her cry the most.

No, he wasn't truly her son. None of them were related, really. His parents abandoned him years ago at a First Order station but the Rebels had scooped him up first and General Leia and Han raised him along with their other "son" and "daughter". Leia's first "son," despite being a little older than her acted like he wasn't. His family neglected him too and hurting, he found his way into Leia and Han's life. Leia's "daughter" was only a couple of years younger than herself but never got the attention or discipline she needed so she too acted out and got herself in trouble. Despite all being within a few years of each other, Han and Leia accepted the roles as the guardians and mentors. Their "children" in turn respected them, but the lines of family that broke them apart often came as a downfall. Han often ran around Leia's back, going so far as to tie knots in even their little family dynamic. Nothing stopped him from doing this as they weren't truly blood or of better age for family ties, but the pain in themselves they still found was remedied by being together.

They all used to spend time together as a little makeshift family until the fight that broke them. Now her "son" was the Commander of the First Order and her "daughter" stopped talking with her and ran off to join the Jedi ranks. "Leia, I'm sorry. I jumped in to save a man but didn't stop to consider if I would be able to handle it." She looked into his eyes and sighed. "Oh Poe, what am I going to do with you?" 

. . . 

This was a month ago, and he shared this story with you over a drink as you watched the sunset behind the trees. "Anyways, that's how life's been for me. What's new with you? How's this whole you-Hux-don't-tell-Savannah thing going?" Poe brought his bottle to his lips. "Or not going." You slowly swung the bottle in small circles over your propped up knee. "I don't know. He's still with her and we're still hanging out. Hux hasn't made any definitive moves to push us into, like, relationship territory. Why do you ask?" You took a sip and looked at him as he continued to stare straight ahead. "Do you want to have sex? We can go to my apartment on New Alderaan. I'll have you be back before first curfew."

Poe was nothing short of dreamy, but sort of like a brother to you. "Are you sure? It won't ruin anything between us?" You hesitantly asked. "Of course it won't ruin anything. I said I wanted to have sex with you, not that I was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. And besides, you have your thing with Hux. I'm just looking for some casual sex." He finished the last of his drink and looked at you. Glancing at the trees and the darkness that was quickly covering you, you looked to him. "I'm down. Let's go."


	5. Poe Damn-eron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and you land on New Alderaan with one goal: getting you back before curfew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the title is cringy, obviously I'm going to change it but it's almost 2 in the morning where I am.

You talked of your days as you rode to New Alderaan. His apartment was small but cozy. Soft evening light filtered through the curtains and fell lazily across the bed. Splayed across the couch was his black First Order Lieutenant jacket, with the trademark emblem facing up. Your shoulders tensed as the realization hit you: he's a double agent. He stood behind you as you faced his couch, the silence filling the room, choking the air between the two of you.  You nodded quickly as he spoke. He took a step closer, leaning over your shoulder to whisper in your ear. "Are we...going to be...okay?" You spun on your heel to face him, locking eyes with him as he spoke. His eyes were hidden from the sunlight and yet glinted a golden hazelnut with small silver specs. Through he was human his eyes told a different story and when the light reflected them small silver specs shined back. When he laughed, his eyes shone with joy and yet seemed to hide something still. But now, he was not laughing. His face was serious and studied you, waiting to see any fallout. 

"How long have you been double-dipping?" He swallowed hard, his face tightening. "A few months now. I didn't feel whole in the Resistance. That's not to say I've found a missing part of me in the First Order, but it helps a little." The hard silence fell between you both, and now it was your turn to talk. "What's it like?" Your tone indicated curiosity, with a note of jealously you desperately hoped he didn't pick up on. What could you be jealous of? You were at the top of your Jedi academy. And yet a small part of yourself felt a twang of excitement, thinking of the Dark Side. It was mysterious and forbidden, but it held an incredibly intoxicating allure. 

"It's structured and serious and no one laughs but it's nice to feel truly wanted. They don't know I'm Resistance, and in their ranks, I'm more of a free floater. I come and go as I please and carry out orders and missions. I saw Kylo the other day, but I'm not sure he recognizes me. If he has, he hasn't said anything. So where does this leave us?" His face was anxious and his jaw was tight. 

In response, you took Poe's hand and led him to the bed, crawling on top. He sat next to you, gently bringing his hands up to your face and combing his fingers through your hair. He loosened your long hair from its regulation bun and it fell lightly on your chest. Gently, he began kissing you, leaning in as his hands slowly slipped beneath your shirt. They were cold and you shivered as they rested lightly on your hips. Poe lifted them once more, this time to your shirt buttons. You panted heavily as he rested his forehead against yours as the cool air blew into the room from his open window. His eyes shined in the dim room, of mischief and a deep intense lust. It was too intense to bear so you shut them, unable to hold his intense stare. 

Poe moved his hands to his shift, pulling it off. Even in the dim light, his abs were visible and scarred, as if a story was written on them. He reached out and unbuttoned your pants, gently tugging them down and sliding them off your legs. They dropped to the floor with a muffled thud. His pants followed suit, and he gently laid you back on the soft bed. He kissed you, taking your lower lip and biting it in a firm yet gentle manner, controlling you. He takes your wrists and pins them against above your head as you lay helpless between his legs and under him. Poe's mouth moves to your neck and sucks on it, dropping gentle kisses across it like raindrops. Suddenly, he grabs you and holds you tight, as if he broke his self-restraint to be gentle. He sucks hard as if successfully draining your blood would give him life. "No, no hickeys! We're not supposed to engage in sexual relations," you protest. He grinned and kissed you gently one final time on the neck. "Alright then. No hickeys. " He let go of your wrists and rolled over, and in response, you climbed on top. Hux wasn't much for good sex, so you followed suit on Poe's actions, pinning his wrists above him and taking his lower lip in his mouth. Hux was bad, in fact, at sex and therefore so were you. But Poe was giving you a new lesson each second you spent in his apartment. In a way, it felt like you were equals. Hux always made you feel powerless but with Poe it felt...different. Enjoyable, even.

Grinding your hips against his, you leaned in to kiss him but at the last moment moved to his ear, gently pulling and nibbling at it. This surprising action caused him to suddenly suck in his breath and his heart fluttered. You pulled yourself up and restrained both his hands above his head with one hand, the other sliding under you to tease his already hard cock. For a sweet few minutes, you tease him as you stare into his eyes and bite your lip, blinking innocently in between the kisses you land on his lips and his cheeks. Growing tired of the teasing, he shot up with you still on his lap and kissed you hard, his hand on your lower back and the other in your hair. He slid his underwear down and you pulled it off, dropping it carelessly to the floor. You stroked his cock, licking the sides of the shaft lightly, Your lips parted, you suck carefully and slowly on the head, making his moan quietly. Taking the full length of him in your mouth, your hand joins you, stroking it as you blow him. Tilting back your head, you lock eyes with him as you blow him. Realizing your shift, Poe picks up his head to watch but releases it back on the pillow, overcome with pleasure. 

Stretching his hand out towards the dresser he Force summoned a box of condoms to his hand. "You can use the force? Why did I never know?' You pick your head up to watch it. He smirks and squints his eyes, replying," Of course I can. There are many things people don't know about me. My use of the Force is one of them. I don't use it much, and I don't want to be dragged into submission for the proverbial good side." You scoff lightly and smile, "Alright, alright." He pulls your hand away from his cock and kisses you, smirking again as he pulls your hair. Biting your lip and moaning in response, he reaches his right hand to unhook your bra and tosses it aside. Leaning in to kiss you again, Poe slides his index and middle fingers into your underwear. As he straddled you, he lowered your panties until they dropped to the floor and fingered you hard and painfully, yet it was a delicious pain unfamiliar to you. Squeaking and whimpering, you melted in his hand. He began to act rougher, restraining less of himself as he went on. He grabbed your breasts and sucked your nipples, biting them lightly until it began to hurt and you whimpered in confusion and pain. Sliding on the condom, his hands spread your legs and yanked your knees towards him. Losing balance, you fell on your back. Poe thrust himself inside of you, filling you. That confusing pain welled up again as he continued to thrust so hard your breasts bounced and you moaned and continued to whimper. He switched between his fingering you and fucking you, both stimulating your clit. It became too much, and you closed your eyes in ecstasy, unable to differentiate fingers from cock.

The feeling of being wanted. It was nothing short of spectacular. Not just being used as a condom and thrown away after but treated as an individual. Pinning your arms underneath him, he continued to kiss you. That was the best part, the kissing. Hux never kissed you. He never brought it up and refused to talk about it when you did. Hux would stare at you but in an unsettling way like you were his property or toy. With Hux, it was just sex, but Poe made you feel like a participant rather than an object to pleasure himself. 

Drawing you from your thoughts, Poe rolled you to your front and slid inside, fucking you from behind. This new sensation made you moan and squeak with every thrust of his hips. Holding yourself up on your forearms, he pulled your hair back and held it as the slaps of his pelvis against you filled the air. Poe moved his right arm to enclose yours and you instinctively grabbed onto it. This one sexual encounter has singlehandedly been the most intense of your life thus far, and already topped the humanity you were ever shown by Hux. Poe rolled on his side and kissed you, calling you over with his eyes. You climbed on top and rode him, your breasts bouncing as he held onto your hips tight. After bending down to kiss him, you continued to ride him until he sat up and threw you backward while still inside you. He fucked you harder and pulled your hair tight, sucking hard on your neck and slamming you into the mattress until he came. After he finished, he began to finger you again, leaning over you to watch your face as he brought you closer to completion. With a gasp, you shattered around his fingers as the waves of pleasure crashed over you. 

A few minutes later and you rolled over to see the clock on his desk. "It's 2300 here! I have to get back so I can get some sleep before training!" You jumped out of bed and began dressing, and Poe led you to his ship. You rode back in comfortable silence, listening to music. "I feel much better. See you around I guess?" He looked at you, almost nervous for a response. "Of course," you replied with a grin. "We're friends. With benefits." 


	6. Fallen Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkest chapter in the series. The young padawan learns the plans Armitage Hux holds for her.  
> Trigger Warning: Rape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't chapter 4. I know it says it is, but this is only a placeholder. I needed to get this off my mind. This chapter will be moved farther back on a later date. Until then, enjoy the sudden appearance of chapters in-between this one and the previous ones, because there are MANY to add. Darker edits on their way. Trigger Warning: Rape

_Leave me alone._

_Don't come here._

_Leave me alone._

_Leave. Me. Alone_

<...please...>

It started with a yes. His usual offer with his usual set up. No. You're not doing this again. This is bad. Just say no. 

_Yes. Come over. I'll be ready_

You began the nightly tradition by slipping out of your bunk and slinking towards the window. The moonlight streamed through the slits in the drapes. Dark shadows arch across the beds, sleeping students near you. In the silence, your stomach flips. The thought of entertaining him another night sickens you to your core. Heart facing, you glance at your communicator. _You can't do this._ Not again. It's too much. Before you can stop yourself, you're pacing in the area between beds, stepping quietly as you've been taught. This is so stupid! Why are you questioning this? You've done this so many times. Just-just-just stop questioning it! You're fine. This is fine! That's right, tug up those tight black jeans and that tighter top you know he likes. You're sure you'll be **encouraged** to remove it, but it makes you feel good. At least, it used to. Your black hoodie comes next. That's right. It's okay. Just slide on your boots. Yes, you know the drill. All black to slip into the night. Blending in is your necessity. A little forbidden eyeliner and a touch of lipstick and eyeshadow. This is...fine. 

No. You aren't fine. Your stomach turns again. Oh, this feeling. Oh what is this wretched feeling? Shame, hatred. No you don't want this. Hux wants this. You want to go back to bed. You want to be free from this icy grip he has around your life. The fun is gone, the light you saw in his eyes on the transporter faded and dull. You are nothing to him but a body meant to pleasure him into the deepness of the night. And he is your captor.

Hux has information that could compromise you. Armitage Hux will be the downfall of you. If he ever told your superiors or classmates about it, everything you would have worked for would be gone. All those years fighting for the top spot, fighting to gain the approval of your Masters and achieve enough to train for the title of Jedi Master. It would all be time wasted if he ever opened his mouth. No one knew of your secret trainings to be part of what you thought was something more. You'd be kicked from the academy, another worthless failure. Hux was a golden boy in the eyes of the First Order, a promising up and comer. No one would believe you. Your stories were lies compared to those a decorated General. No. You'd have to do it. Just one more time and it would be all over. Your Masters and fellow learners already didn't like you. 

_No. Don't come. Leave me alone._

_I don't want to do this. No._

_Leave me alone._

You stood up for yourself but whether it meant anything would be yet to come. It was over. You did it. No more would you be his pawn.

I'll be there in 15. 

Heartbreaking. Your efforts were useless. It was too late to quit now. He was going to tell. What if he showed up at the front doors? Awoke your Masters and attempted to confront you about it? Fine. You'd go to him and tell him off yourself. That's all. You were going to regain your life, whether that meant you were going to have sex one more time or just tell him to go screw himself. You slipped to the window, sliding up the glass to open it. The cool night air rushed in and filled the room. Taking one final glance behind you, you climbed up and out. The cold night of the December air greeted you warmly. Hood up and let the night begin. 

He was about to leave when he contacted you again, but you told him to stay. There would be no point in risking him loosening his lips if he was so close. You just had to talk. Just get it over with, whatever you do. End this. 

You entered his ship in an uncomfortable silence. The silence between you both was deafening. Niceties were well past you both and were often forced. You were his sex slave and he knew it. "I don't want to go to Tarkin's. I don't like it there, please." You entered your words into the space as he piloted forward. "Right, you mentioned that. Fine. We'll go someplace else." The sheer terror you felt inside you built as you could sense something was going to happen. You weren't free yet. He picked you up and waited for you. In his eyes, you owed him. Meanwhile, he owned you. He piloted to a familiar spot near your old stomping grounds, before your time in the academy. "Get in the back. There's more room." You followed his commands as you were conditioned to. "Take off your clothes." He stripped himself too. In the darkness of his ship, it seemed almost fake. You could almost pretend none of this was happening. 

Hux liked it when you were on top. It gave him a false sense of submission, an idea that he wasn't in control. He liked that thought, but Hux knew full well that he was in control. He often started with you on bottom like he did now, but his ship was cramped in the cargo compartment he has you both in. You switched his position, to you on top. You sat up straight, holding onto the strap nearby to keep you upright. You didn't want to look at him as you rode him. Hell, all he ever did was look at you and it made you so unnerved. You didn't want this and he knew that. Hands. His hands. They were on your hips, then your waist. These clumsy, clammy things had no right to be on you. Suddenly, he's applying more pressure and pulling. _No. This can't be happening._ Is he...trying to pull you down, chest to chest? He's pulling harder as you grip the strap tighter. It's no use. He's pulling and nor your hand nor your body can fight off his strength.

Your left hand smacks down hard next to his head, creating a sound that was clear that this was fought against. You struggle wordlessly to push up against the seat he's pinning you down to by pulling you down to his chest. The fear in your heart and head is racing and you're sure he can hear it. Is it echoing off the walls? It feels that way. This can't be happening and yet it is. You're not strong enough to push off him, and he hasn't released his grip. It seems Hux has wrapped his arms around your waist, locking you down to him. You give in and give up. Laying limp, you have completed your arc as his sex slave. He keeps pumping into you as you lay limp across his chest, your right hand dangling off the bench. Tears spring up and well in your eyes. Hux is a monster and he won't let you go until he finished, you know this now. Hux seems to stretch this across hours it feels like. Every second is a day your mind, detaching you from reality as he continues to fuck you hard. There's no point in screaming or crying or hurting him. If Hux is willing to do this, he won't hesitate to leave you naked in this forest to find your way back. He continuously holds you down.

After a lifetime, it's finally over and he finishes. Per custom, you remove his condom from him and wrap it, carefully stuffing it into the small pocket from the wrapper. Hux is silent as he redresses. You slide away from him and rush to put your clothes on fast, but it doesn't matter. Your body isn't yours anymore. No speed of redressing or showering will cleanse you of this filth you feel. He's made you into the Rebel Scum you feel like. He brings you back and you silently climb into the dormitory window. You creep to the bathroom and wipe off your makeup, feeling like a painted whore. The clothes you rip off and ball under your bed. You hope your memories will be gone too, as easily as your clothes come off. Your standard nightwear slides back over your body, and you crawl back into bed. The tears slide silently down your cheeks as you try to fall back asleep through broken nightmares.


	7. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are wracked with nightmares of frequent grooming occurrences between you and Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are mini interactions between Hux and You. It felt right to make these more of a nightmare chapter than keep making mini-chapters about it. Again, there will be more added as I feel like it. To reiterate, these interactions are memories and not just nightmares.

You writhe in bed, whimpering quietly as the hours pass. You're locked in a nightmare cycle, every moment agonizing pain. 

Nightmare: Holochess: 2 a.m.

_Another car ride with Hux., to Wilhuff Tarkin's place. What horrors would tonight hold?_

_Hux parked at his friend's and shut down his craft. He led you inside and Tarkin met you at the door. He smiled at you, enjoying the fact you were even there. He wasn't around women much, nor did they ever spend much time around him. He was a loner and strange, body physically and personally. Tarkin led you inside his quiet home, and brought you to his favorite place, the den of horrors. Hux and him exchanged their usual pleasantries and Tarkin started to set up Holochess for him and Hux. They never let you play. "Hey, how about Strip Sabacc? Every time you lose you remove a layer of clothing." Tarkin smiled. "I'd like that." They looked at you for input. "Well, I've never played Sabacc? Can't we try something else?" You asked. "Oh, no. It's probably better you don't know. You'll be fine. I'll help you," Hux answered with a smile. A few games later, you were naked, as was Tarkin, and Hux remained fully clothed._

_"Hey, let's play for sex with you. How does a few rounds of Holochess sound? Tarkin's already set it up." You were just a trophy. His toy to tout around. How many times have you gone through this? How many nights he's brought you to this same choice, smiling at you and talking kind during other interactions you have with him. He knew you couldn't bring yourself to stop them. "Hux I like that idea, let's do it!" 15 rounds later and Hux has won, eyeing you every moment. He even had you sitting naked on his lap, for "luck." He whispers constantly to you._

_"You want me to win, don't you?"_

_"Well I have to let him win a few times or he won't let us come here anymore."_

_"You've got to do a little something for him or he won't let us come here anymore."_

_"Oh, looks like I win. It came close though. Feel free to do single player. I'm going to collect my prize."_

_He instucted you to climb on top, and he held your hips firmly. Never a voyeur, you felt a deep shame in your stomach. As "private" as this sex was, he was slamming you while his friend stole glances. Your mind fluttered to what you had said earlier in an effort to calm Tarkin. "If you have a better hand I'll blow you." Surprisingly, he had. Damn, you cheated in this game and he still won. As you rode Hux and stared straight ahead, fear engulfed you. Every time you flicked your eyes down, Hux's were there, attempting to stare deep into yours. This was bad. Your face blushes an angry red and he still continues, until he's finishing in you and you're looking for your clothes. You rush to dress, eager to leave, but he stares at his datapad. "Hey, didn't you promise me a blowjob? You're about to leave..." Tarkin trails off, towering over you as you stare at the floor._

_Your eyes shoot toward Hux, but he's too busy to meet your eyeline. "Um..." Now you trail off, and Tarkin pulls out his cock. It's hard and ugly. A soft, gross member that's hauntingly smooth and crooked. You lifted your shaking hand as your gently grasped it. It was terribly warm. He smiled and you kept your eyes concentrated on Hux. He repeated refused to make eye contact with you. You licked your dry mouth, saliva refusing to be conjured. His cock in your hand, you licked the shaft limply, barely sucking on it in your mouth. He moaned but you kept your eyes trained on Hux. You finished, and Hux finally looks at you, your face in shame. "Alright, let's get you home," Hux finally says._


End file.
